One Forty

This is a tough one. I’m not entirely sure I’m comfortable with the idea of ‘selling’ an organ for a profit because most people aren’t requiring a new organ because they decided to mistreat theirs. You’re not looking for a new kidney because you thought three would be cooler than two, you know? But then there are those who have damaged their own organs through carelessness and neglect that I don’t think deserve one to simply be provided to them. Why should they, when they’ve shown they don’t care about the value of life?

Maybe the solution is two avenues – one that provides organs freely to those in need, from those who choose to donate them. Then there can be a seller option where they can be bought by people who have destroyed themselves through poor decisions, lack of self discipline and respect for the value of life. But how does one decide who goes into which category – some people destroy themselves by choice, others simply fall into a medical illness, often mentally, that causes self destruction to be a byproduct.

“Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” I love this advice not only for it’s practicality in career but because having that sort of mentality does a lot of things for you: It makes you value yourself, gives you a sense of worth and pride and lets you feel as though it’s okay to want to achieve whatever you want.

Once again, I would have to say Lady Gaga. I swear  I’m not crazy obsessed with her but I really do appreciate her. It almost wouldn’t even matter where we went, I think she would be incredibly interesting to talk to regardless. Some place that makes pasta would be a good choice, though.

Lady Gaga. I’ve never found a musician I more enjoyed, respected and agree with when it comes to their opinions and beliefs. She stands for all that is right and just in this world. Freedom, liberty and the right to be exactly who you want to be, without consequence and judgement.

So far, the place I disliked the most was Los Angeles airport. Don’t get me wrong, I loved LA itself but LAX airport created two of the most horrible experiences I have ever had at any airport – the staff was incredibly condescending, even to people who were following the proceedures correctly and I don’t enjoy being yelled at directly in my face by staff who were treating me and my family like we were retarded.

I know terrorism is an issue and a concern for the United States, but being an asshole doesn’t make it any better (nor give you the right to be one). That being said, a lot of American people I know are amazing and are a better reflection on their country than those airport employees were; I’m not about to call an entire nation “full of assholes” just because I met a few of them.

Ability to breathe underwater. All the best game characters could swim underwater without any gear or fear of drowning. Think Alex the Kidd and Mario, for example.

Besides, the underwater music for Mario is kick ass and I’d imagine that my ability to breathe underwater comes with said theme music. Also, the music that is played in Alex the Kidd in Miracle World comes to mind. I’d be happy with either music to cover my underwater experience.

Let me start by saying that I really like Rockstar; I think they’re a solid game publisher and I highly enjoyed playing each Grand Theft Auto game they released. Seriously, I spent so many hours playing that game series that sometimes it’s easy for me to believe I was actually in Vice City, ploughing through lines of coke and listening to 80’s pop while I cruise around the streets high off my face… that guy in the golf cart never saw me coming. But that’s a story for another day.

A little while ago I sat down and played the newest game release from Rockstar – L.A. Noire and while I enjoyed the game for the most part, there were several things about the game that really stood out and annoyed me. The game just didn’t feel as polished and well-rounded as I’ve come to expect from these guys. Admittedly, recent events have revealed that the management suits atTeam Bondi, Sydney weren’t exactly treating their staff fairly – extremely long work hours, no additional pay to compensate – it’s no wonder the game felt half-assed at times.

So what am I talking about? Let’s start with the fact that your ‘partner in crime’ is hardly ever useful; I would go as far as suggesting that the game would have been no different if your case partner didn’t even exist. All your side-kick ever seems to do is whinge when you’re idle for too long (and sometimes even when you already are busy doing something) or give hints that are pretty useless and he mumbles when you do ask for a hint. Oh and have I mentioned how their sole purpose seems to be to walk aimlessly around the crime scene and, more often than not, stand in your way when you’re trying to get to a particular area? Yeah, not even a side-step out of the way is offered when you awkwardly bump into them.

Okay, look, I guess having a partner wasn’t too bad. I mean they did help drive me back and forth all over town whenever I asked them to. Hell, they’d even ask me “would you mind telling me where we’re going” after I just finished telling them where we are going. They’d even ask me where we’re going after they just finished telling ME where we should be going. Yup, my partner had attention to detail covered. The conversation while driving was nice, I suppose… except for the fact that once my partner opened his mouth, you couldn’t get a word in edge-wise. Try asking for directions while your buddy spends his time telling you how to be a cop and you’ll get my point. He’s like a wife without the perk of getting any sex or sandwiches.

Moving on from my “partner” who may as well have been a cardboard box that I had to carry around with me everywhere, there’s something else that got on my nerves a little more than poor A.I. and that was the investigations. I appreciate that Team Bondi thought they needed to make a decision on how many items could be clues that may or may not be relevant to the case but I never really understood the logic behind items that could be searched and those that couldn’t. Why is it that I can check the tea and coffee tins on a kitchen bench but I can’t look in the bread bin? You know, because that would be TOO weird and irrelevant.

Personally, I would have liked to see more items available for inspection; allow me, as the player, to fully explore the options available and decide whether the piece is relevant or not. The idea that one room has three identical candle holders available to look at which aren’t clues as opposed to one candle holder and two other unique items able to be inspected really disappoints me and comes off as extremely lazy… but again, I guess if you’ve been working days on end, with hardly any sleep, what’s the harm in a little copy and pasting between developers?

Even the inspection of deceased victims was awkward at times, especially the moment at the post office where a man is dying, giving you his final words – you are completely able to move his head around and inspect him as though he were dead, while he’s still alive. The preservation of life doesn’t seem to be anyone’s concern, either – while this man is dying in front of you, a dead body has already been tagged and bagged by the coroner. Why was that their priority and not the medical assistance of saving a man’s life who clearly knew vital information?

Another leap of logic that I thought didn’t really bode well for the game’s realism comes to mind – the scene in the warehouse and the scene in the catacombs. At one point during the game, you visit a dark “warehouse” with shipping containers and pieces of furniture everywhere and, apparently, your first instinct is not to turn on the warehouse lights but rather to pull out your tiny torch and navigate your way under its light only. I guess people in the 1940’s didn’t believe in using fitted electric lights in their warehouses.

Later, you are then confronted with a candle-lit house in a cemetery which had more light provided inside it than the aforementioned warehouse but, once again, you apparently need your trusty flashlight to see… until you go down into the catacombs. Sure, why not? It’s dark as hell down there, almost pitch black; using a torch now would be foolish and illogical, especially when you’re trying to chase down some loon who is shooting at you. It’s cool, you can’t see shit but you’ve totally got this, Phelps. I trust your decision not to see in the dark when now, more than ever, you need to.

Speaking of Phelps and his great decision making and thought processes, he sure is one hell of a detective. I can’t count how many times he was able to make magic conclusions about motive and how events occurred without even needing a single piece of evidence to support such conclusions. Especially once he gets to the point of working in the Arson squad. At one point, I had a genuine “where the fuck did that one come from?” moment after he finished giving his explanation on what happened and why. There really was no link to where he got his conclusion from, other than his ass.

There were a couple of game mechanics that were a little frustrating at some points, like the inability to turn off the radio; I tried everything but I was forced to be condemned to a life of driving with songs I had heard a million times already. Then there are the side-missions that you can do which are called in over the police radio while driving around. I like the idea of them and the fact that they are optional things you can do if you get bored of sticking to the story – that is, you can opt to complete them when you hear the call by pressing a button on the controller. The only time that this changes is when you are driving past the area in which the side-mission is located.

One particular mission I was on involved me driving to a location and I had a side-mission get called in over the radio and I wasn’t really up for doing any of those at that moment; I wanted to continue with the story. As I was driving down the road, I happened to pass the area which the side-mission was located and the game took this as an indication that I wanted to complete the side-mission and began to load the event. This effectively continued to interrupt the mission I was already on and currently attempting to complete; the only way around it was to complete the side-mission just to get it out of the way. Literally.

Arresting people seemed to only happen one of two ways: you either chase them down until you tackle them or shoot them away from a hostage or you end up in a pointless round of fisticuffs. There didn’t seem to be any calm arrests and I refuse to believe that every person who I arrested was someone who would make a break for it at the drop of a hat. I also expected detectives to be a little subtle enough to not give away that the person they’re talking to is in trouble and should run for it before they’re sent down town. There were even moments where I am running down the street, chasing a “criminal,” scaling walls and fences, dodging traffic and yelling to the person I am chasing, “STOP OR I WILL SHOOT,” yet I can’t even draw my gun. What are you going to shoot him with, Phelps – love?

Don’t get me wrong; while this ‘review’ might seem to only focus on the negatives and drawbacks from the game, it’s not an entirely bad game. It definitely has its moments and the ending isn’t as bad as you begin to think it might be. Visually, it’s a beautiful game and even comes with a black and white mode to add further to the Noire feeling – a unique touch. It’s simply that this game is the product of a team that was pushed too hard, too fast for too long and its end result, in my opinion, suffered because of it. If you have an opportunity to play L.A. Noire, I would recommend doing so but I don’t feel that it matches all the hype that everyone made about it and it has a lot of areas that needed further time and development.

And with that, I will leave you with my final thought…

I say we bust in there and find the God damned evidence.